Embracing Weakness: Thoughts from Berlin
By Matt Meier
Let me introduce ourselves again for those who may not know us well. My name is Matt Meier and my wife is Amanda. We have two sons: 2-year-old Jesse and our youngest, Benjamin, who was just born a few months ago here in Berlin, Germany. We were serving with Cru working with university students in Indianapolis for several years before we decided to move overseas and serve with Cru in Berlin on the university campuses in Germany.
We've been here just over a year, and I'd like to share a few things God has been teaching us over that time and hope it may encourage you as well. As I think about the past year, the word "weakness" is one that comes to mind over and over.
When you think about weakness, what do you think of? Is it good? Is it bad? How does it make you who you are?
For me, I just don't like feeling weak. I want to think I can do whatever I put my mind to and be successful. I want to feel competent, capable, and productive. But the reality is that over the past 14 months in Berlin, Amanda and I have felt weak in nearly every area of our lives. Trying to speak German, going to doctor's appointments, engaging with students from a different culture, fitting in on a new team, thriving in a new role, being parents of two boys. You can imagine plenty of areas where we've felt weak or felt like a failure.
I want to think I can do whatever I put my mind to and be successful. I want to feel competent, capable, and productive. But the reality is that over the past 14 months in Berlin, Amanda and I have felt weak in nearly every area of our lives.
My temptation is to think that I'm able to just put my head down and make things happen by my own power and ability. The reality is that I want the glory and praise for how awesome I was in a conversation with a student, in launching a movement on a new campus, or in raising our boys.
Here are just a few ways God has been reminding me of who he is through my own weakness:
When having spiritual conversations with people on campus, every day I'm reminded that I can't convince people of the gospel and bring them into the kingdom. It's God who brings dead people to life.
When seeking to launch a new movement at a campus where there is no current student movement, I can be faithful in planning, thinking about strategy, and pursuing that campus, but it's God who will surface the right kind of students who desire to see God do something on their campus.
When thinking about raising our two boys, we can do everything in our power to help them develop the way they ought in their walking, talking, eating, etc., but ultimately, there are a vast array of things that are simply out of our control.
I'm reminded of what God says the book of Hebrews. I'm reminded at how the word of God and the Spirit expose us in our weakness and failure. And that's a GOOD thing. Hebrews 4:12–13 says, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”
Every day I’m reminded that I can’t convince people of the gospel and bring them into the kingdom. It’s God who brings dead people to life.
But while circumstances and challenges expose our weakness and failure, we are not left there. We do not need to be perfect. We do not need to have it all together or be fully competent or productive at all times. Why? Because Jesus has been perfect on our behalf and we are created for His Glory and for dependence on Him. The author of Hebrews continues, “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:14–16).
I love what Paul Miller says in his book, A Praying Life: “We have an allergic reaction to dependency, but this is the state of the heart most necessary for a praying life. A needy heart is a praying heart. Dependency is the heartbeat of prayer.”
Wow, is that true in my life! Over the past year, we have learned (and continue to learn) that this "needy heart" is what ultimately gives life to our soul. When I look in the mirror and see my prayerlessness, it reminds me to look to my heart and assess whether I'm living a life of self-sufficiency or whether I'm living a life of dependency that I was created for. We hope this encourages you to embrace your weakness and daily depend on Jesus and his finished work on the cross for you.